SarcasMom
I'm Ashlee. Mother of three. I'm more than a little nutty, I'm super opinionated, I ask lots of questions, and I'll tell you just about anything on my mind.
Friday, January 10, 2014
Trader's World and 10.
Low expectations. That's what you need with me. That way I will never disappoint.
Let's get down to it. My first topic is My Favorite Store.
Now, this isn't JUST a store. It's a flea market. With over 400 vendors. THEY HAVE EVERYTHING.
I'm talking vaporizers, fiestaware, bad food, big fuzzy blankets, cheap chinese toys, air guns, fudge, holy crap.
They are only open Saturdays and Sundays, but every weekend, we make the short trip and spend hours walking through the aisles checking everything out. We eat, we try on funny hats, or knock off sunglasses, and sniff candles, and try new vape flavors. I love this place not only for the content, but the memories.
Next.
10 likes/dislikes. Let's go with likes first
1. sleeping. I can't ever get enough. I could sleep for days, and never get out of bed, developing bed sores, and be the happiest woman in the universe.
2. Coffee for when I do have to get up.
3. cooking and baking. I don't pride myself in much, but this bitch knows her way around a kitchen. I was totally meant to be a 50's housewife.
4. reading. Anything. I read newspapers, blogs, research articles, textbooks, Facebook, fiction, non fiction, technical papers.....daily. I never stop.
5. my boyfriend. This isn't in order, obviously. But I dig the guy. He's fantastic. We are two peas in a happy little pod, content living in our own little bubble, leaving the outside world behind.
6. boots. It's a problem.
7. thrift stores. I have a sick addiction to buying crap I don't need because HOLY CRAP IT'S SO FRIGGIN CHEAP. Hence why I have three spice racks, and more picture frames than space.
8. Cleaning. I know this makes me a freak, but I am NOT happy until everything is spotless. I currently have these white counters that EVERYTHING stains, and it's making me miserable.
9. heat. Winter makes me sad. I don't like to take my pajamas off. I don't like to get out from under the blankets. I don't like to go outside.
10. Netflix. I haven't used a regular television service in a LONG time. I love binge watching tv. Like a whole season in a row.
Dislikes:
1. Cold. See 10 above.
2. Clutter. Everything has a place, and dammit, don't touch it. Leave it where it is.
3. Bad smells. Wax warmers are my best friends.
4. Spiders. I'm terrified of those leggy little bastards, and if they come within 10 feet of me, I dissolve into a panicky puddle of fear.
5. Feeling stuff under my feet when I walk barefoot on my floor.
6. Self entitled, better than thou, hateful bitches
7. Everyone else's opinion. haha.
8. The price of gas.. I wish I could afford a horse, but that's actually more expensive than leaving my carbon footprint on the world
9. moving. I'm tired of doing it, and I wish I could just pick a place and settle the hell down already.
10. Driving. I FRIGGIN HATE IT. It's also an irrational fear, because wrecks look like they hurt. bad.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
What I ate and where I'm gonna be
It's not been the best day so far. Between laundry mishaps, unnecessary drama, and it not being the weekend, I'm ready to just go back to bed. Instead, I'm pushing through, entertaining you, and thinking about attempting to be a productive citizen. Thinking about it. Anyway.
Day two. A picture of something I ate today.
There you have it. Along with coffee, this is breakfast/lunch. Don't judge me. Shark week is coming and chocolate is the only thing keeping me from going postal on lots of people.
Also, where I want to be in 10 years.
This is a tough one. Firstly, I'd like to still be HERE. On Earth. I'd also like to not be a wreck about just turning 40, and instead celebrating my coolness. I'd like to be successful with one of my endeavors, whether it be my small business or my college degree. Hopefully SarcasMom is still around, and maybe even have a book or two under her belt. (I know, that involves a lot more writing than I already do. So probably not.) I don't expect to be married, but still in the relationship I'm currently involved in. I love that guy, no matter what happens. He just gets me. Like.....buying me Hohos for no reason, and killing spiders without my asking. I'll more than likely be getting ready to watch my oldest son graduate high school. Kinda wish I would be living somewhere warmer, with a lot less polar vortex.
Ultimately, I'll be satisfied just being happy and alive in 10 years. Whatever else life has thrown at me won't be a biggie, as long as I've got my friends and family by my side. Oh, and y'all too. I dig you guys.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
30 Day blogging challenge. Day 1.
I'm starting a 30 day blog challenge, starting today. I'm actually going to combine two challenges into one, to give myself more topics to write about each day.
Day One.
A Photo of Yourself and a description of your day, along with a few basic things about yourself.
This is me. I'm 30 years old. I look and act much younger for the most part, except for when it comes to serious shit like picking curtains or road rage. I have three kids. They are pretty freaking awesome. (of course they are, they are little pieces of me. Duh.) I am enrolled full time at DeVry University, studying Health Information Technology. Going back to college after being out of high school for 12 years is HARD. It's time sucking, frustrating, and life altering. And fun. I love to learn. I ask a lot of questions, read a lot of books, and spend a lot of time researching stuff on the internet that will probably be of no use to me in the future. Like funny cats and TV series and scary science. Behind the safe wall that is the internet, I am outspoken, opinionated, and funny. In real life, I'm timid. I hate confrontation, I'm extremely antisocial, and kind of a hermit. Nothing makes me happier than spending a weekend in pajamas, watching bad television and eating crap that goes straight to my ass. I don't exercise much. I know I should. It's boring though, and doesn't hold my attention for long, just like most other things in the universe. I love anything health related, on the other hand. I'm a certified nurse's aide, I really enjoy helping others. I am addicted to medical dramas, and researching weird and rare diseases. I even have infectious diseases textbooks on my laptop for free reading time. This kind of goes hand in hand with my germ phobia. I have hand sanitizer everywhere, touching door knobs sends me into a panic, my house is ALWAYS spotless, and public bathrooms are the devil. I have a plethora of irrational fears, like driving off bridges and drowning, spiders, sleeping on the side of the bed closest to the door (I don't want to get kidnapped.), Alaska, oreo cookies (refer back to spiders), and some other stuff I'm not gonna mention right now, because I've humilated myself enough for the day.
That's me. Kind of. Not all of me, of course, but all of me would take a lot longer to write. Anyway, about my day.
It's Wednesday today (does anyone else say wed-NES-day when they type that?). I started off the day with coffee, bill paying and ordering wireless mouses online. (I'm really very boring.) I watched myself some Ally McBeal, did some research on a small home business I'm currently thinking about opening, and then went and saw the man for lunch. After that, I got my lucky Aldi quarter, and went grocery shopping. I am a bargain shopper, so after about three stops, I spent 120 on a month's worth of food. Once I got home, I cleaned (for the second time today), watched more Ally, and wasted way too much time on Pinterest, which got my to where I am right now. The day isn't over, but I can tell you with certainty that the rest of my day will involve dinner (beef stroganoff), a movie with some popcorn, and math homework. Then snuggles and bed.
There's day one, I hope it didn't make you completely insane and want to rip your eyes out with a rusty fork. Stay tuned, day two is in the works.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Season of Change
September has been a whirlwind of life altering choices and changes.
I've moved back across the state, relocating to my moms house yet again.
I've decided to start school again, to be able to support myself and my children without anyone's help.
I am on the hunt for employment that will support me through my college career, which is next to impossible in this economy.
All this stuff has given me a lot of hope, and I know I'm making the right decisions.
Then today happened.
Today, I lost two things very dear to me. Now, at this moment, I feel lost and alone, and feel like giving up. Just throwing in the towel, curling up in my bed, and sleeping my life away.
I won't though. I'll push through, find a job, earn my degree, and get on with my life. Why? Because I have no other choice. My children depend on me, and this is no way to live my life. Today, its raining inside and out.
Tomorrow though, I'm sure there will be rainbows.
Friday, September 20, 2013
American greed, iPhone style
As I'm laying in bed, perusing news articles, I come across this blasphemy.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/09/20/homeless-recruited-to-buy-iphones/2844979/
Now...I don't buy into the Apple madness to begin with. You won't find one iPiece of junk in my house due to the fact that its overpriced, over advertised, and over rated.
This, though, sums up the greed of America. A man, promising to pay homeless citizens (and never does) to wait in lines to buy the newest iPhone so he can sell them illegally on eBay, I'm sure. Fricking insanity. The only reason he was even taken away was because it was upsetting everyone else in line! NOT EVEN ILLEGAL. ugh.
And this picture thar accompanies the article.....tell me, what do you see wrong here?
I'll tell you. Police officers at an IPHONE LINE. Let's waste a little more of their time, shall we? Its not like they catch murderers, rapists, pedophiles and deviants for a living.
Anyway, rant over. They can take their iCrap and shove it.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Sweet and Sour Sausage (my way.)
Sweet and Sour Sausage, Sarcasmom style.
(I found the original recipe on Eckrich.com, and improvised a little with what I had on hand.)
1 14oz package of Eckrich Smoked Sausage, cut into 1/2 inch slices
white rice (this is what I served it over, you could also use egg noodles.) cook as many servings as needed per your family, following the box directions.
1 20oz can of pineapple chunks, undrained
1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar (i used a little more. I like mine a little on the sweeter side.)
2 tablespoons cornstarch (I used flour, because I couldn't find my cornstarch. Worked just fine.)
1/4 cup white vinegar (could also use white wine vinegar. I didn't use quite 1/4 cup.....again, like it sweeter.)
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 to 2 medium sized peppers, chopped. ( I used a trio package from walmart, had red, orange and yellow in it, because I like color in my food.)
Now, you could also add in carrots, or mushrooms, or whatever veggie you want. I stuck with this, because my 11 year old is a picky eater.
Cook rice according to package directions and set aside.
Drain pineapple juice into a large bowl, and add brown sugar, making sure it's mixed well, and there's not little chunks of sugary goodness left. add cornstarch or flour, stirring well, then toss in the vinegar and soy sauce. Set this aside for now.
In a large saucepan, heat your sausage slices and whatever veggies you have chosen to add, for about 6 minutes or until the veggies are slightly cooked. I like mine a little on the crispy side. DON'T BURN THE SAUSAGE.
Add the sauce to the saucepan (this is why you need a big pan. learn from my mistakes, people.) and cook on medium heat until the sauce thickens and bubbles. Stir this ALOT or it will start sticking to the pan, and burn. Throw in the pineapple chunks when sauce is thick, THIS WILL THIN OUT YOUR SAUCE AGAIN. heat for about 10 minutes on medium low, stirring almost constantly, until the sauce gets back to the consistency you desire.
Serve over rice.
FREAKING DELICIOUS FOR 25 MINUTES.
Monday, May 6, 2013
To my internet bestie (there's more than one of them.)
We used to be real life friends, but time and distance has put us 700 miles away, so we settle for Facebook time together. We are soulmates, life partners, and even after not seeing each other for many years, we still start up a conversation like we never had a minute apart. You know stuff about me my closest local friends will never find out. You hold all my dark secrets. We will be best friends forever because you know too much already.
Dear bestie number 2,
We are about to be real life friends and I CANNOT WAIT for wine, couponing, cooking and debauchery! We've only known each other about 6 months, but we've gotten so close in that short time that I can honestly call you one of my bestest buddies in the whole world.
Dear bestie number 3,
You're bitchy. (haha). I love our random texts and our equal hatred for anything stupid, fake or losery. You want my skin, and I want your thigh gap. You're the one person I can be a total bitch to, and you laugh and give it right back. It all started with a simple picture of Channing, and it's history from there :) BFF FOREVER!