One mom, two bunnies, three kids.

Okay, so here it is! My own shiny, new official blog! I should be having a celebratory drink, BUT it's still too early for that yet, without getting sloshed and making a fool out of myself by mid evening. Most of you already are already my friends from Facebook, but on the off chance that you aren't, I'm gonna go ahead and spew out my life story for you all to gossip about. Who knows when a random stranger will stumble on here? Gotta be able to say we warned them ;) 

My name is SarcasMom. (Ashlee for short.) I came to be on November 5th, 1983. Good thing about my birthday is that MOST of the time, it's still warm enough not to be snowing. Bad thing is, it falls on Election day alot. BOOOO. I don't want to share my glory with Presidential candidates I don't even like, or understand. (that's a different story all together.) This makes me 29 years old. Now, I don't want to hear that I'm so young, and have no life experience, blah blah blah. I DO TOO. (If you could see me right now, I'd be sticking out my tongue and stomping my foot.) I consider myself an expert in parenting, coffee, lack of sleep, and sarcasm! I love to laugh, usually at myself, I spend spare time (HAHAHAHAHA) reading anything I can get my hands on, sleeping, and hunting up new cookie recipes. I LOVE to bake! 

I have three gorgeous little hellions, as well. My first, who is Bubby, is a 10 year old boy.  He is the boss man and protector of his younger siblings. He's also usually the one who gets the little kids in trouble as well, with his schemes and shenanigans.  He loves to play Xbox, football, and his new passion is hunting. He's an all around "man's man." The next child, Bug, is a 4 year old boy. He is CONVINCED that he is a zombie. This child is obsessed.  It's all he talks about, day and night. NO, I don't let him play zombie games (besides plants vs. zombies on his Xbox), and I certainly don't let him watch zombie movies, but somehow, despite my attempt at good parenting, he has become immersed in the zombie lifestyle. I blame myself, because I'm a little obsessed as well.  Last, but certainly not least (especially if you ask her, she should be first) I have a 3 year old daughter that I call Diva. And boy does she live up to her name. If you ask her what her name is, she will tell you to call her Princess. Maybe even demand that you bow to her.  I don't quite know where I went wrong, but dammit, she is royalty, and no one can tell her otherwise.  She spends most of her day painting her nails, cleaning her feet with her finger, and blaming every bad thing that happens on her big brothers, who take the blame out of fear of her. 

I am ALSO a single mother. Yup.  All strong and independent and all that other crap. Most days I feel like pulling my hair out, strand by strand, and gouging my eyes out with rusty forks. I am fortunate enough to have an ex that loves having his children, so the two smallest go to see their dad every weekend. My oldest son is from a previous relationship, and he's ALL MINE.  Sharing kids is a new concept for me. I'm slowly learning how to adjust, day by day, and I'm actually starting to enjoy my "me" time. (alcohol and bad television in bed, HERE I COME!) I work as a caregiver in a private home setting, because despite what I seem like, I'm actually a very caring person. (don't laugh. I'm serious.) 

So.....that's me. It doesn't seem like much, but let me tell you, I certainly have my hands full most of the time. Oh....I forgot the pets. We have a geriatric dog, who the children constantly try to ride, and 2 house rabbits, who are professionals at breaking and entering and chewing the faces off my daughter's baby dolls, much to her dismay.  We are a big, crazy, happy dysfunctional family, and I can't wait to share all my wild adventures with you! Please don't run away. I'm needy.