To my Dreams

Dearest dreams,

My goodness, how you have changed over the years. I can barely recognize you these days. We've grown together, through good and bad, adapting together, failing together, succeeding together. I guess you are honestly one of my oldest friends.

When I was little, you were in the form of an archeologist. That's what we were going to be when we grew up. We spent our days digging for dinosaur bones (maybe this is where the T Rex fascination comes from), and our nights dreaming of a prehistoric world. This slowly developed into a passion for Egyptology and Cryptology. We wanted to explore the pyramids, and battle evil curses together (no wonder I like Supernatural.)

Sometimes, when I was small, you scared me. You liked to hide monsters in my closet, and ghosts under my bed. You liked to play tricks on me while I slept. I didn't like you much at those points, I kind of wanted to kick your ass.

As we grew up, we changed. All we wanted was FREEDOM as teenagers. We wanted a car, and a license, and our own place to live, and college.  We schemed up ways to get away with doing things we knew we weren't supposed to do. We also hit a pretty rough patch when we were about 15, where you left me. I didn't dream for a long time, all I wanted to do was cry. I missed you dearly, but didn't know how to make you come back.  Finally, you did on your own, and we went on to cause trouble together for a few more years.


When we were 17, I got pregnant. You and I had to adapt quickly to this change. We went from school and fun and parties and boys, to babies and money and responsibility. We wanted a house, and love, and security. Being a young mother, I had simple dreams. I just wanted a roof over our heads, love in our hearts, and smiles on our faces. Oh and food in our bellies, which wasn't easy sometimes.

In our early 20's, we wanted love. We looked in all the wrong places, hurting ourselves countless times. We struggled and barely made it through, when I became pregnant again. Finally, you stopped whispering so loudly in my ear. Maybe it was time to just settle for what I could get, instead of what you wanted for me. So I got married, had two more children, and you went away for the most part. When you did come around, it was for my children. I wasn't happy, I missed you a LOT.  After years of nights without you, and unhappiness, you popped back into my life. I left my husband, I moved out, and started picking up the pieces with you by my side.

Here we are, over a year later, and we are still changing. We spent awhile not wanting anything much, just to live and enjoy life's little moments.  Then we met him. We were both in TOTAL agreement that this one wasn't like the others. He started being a star role in our night time escapades (get your mind out of the gutter, readers.) We started thinking big again. And we will continue to.

Without you, life just isn't the same. It's not sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and puppy kisses. I hope you never leave me again, but keep on changing, because it keeps life amazing!