Co Parenting.....not for the weak of heart.

Ahhh....co parenting. What every married couple dreads, and every single parent learns to relish :) At first, it's all "OH MY GAWD, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO THIS ALONE?! I'm so lonely, heartbroken, sad, dumpy, I'll stay in my pajamas forever, never find another S/O, etc." This goes on from anywhere between 24 hours and the rest of your life, depending on your ability to stop being such an idiot. THEN, it hits you. Wait.....so I don't have to pick up crusty socks? Or sit in the permanent dent in the couch that used to almost swallow me whole because my S/O lived there? Or watch television that makes me want to chew my arm off and beat myself with it? Or explain why I NEEDED that 6th pair of boots? *BIG HUGE HAPPY DANCE* I mean, yes, downgrading to one income sucks, and losing your kids for part of the time REALLY sucks, but you learn to relish that as well :). 

The particular day I went from stage 1 to stage 2, I woke up in bed, looked over to the ex's usual spot, realized it was empty, and.....smiled. I scratched my butt (HAHAHAHAHA) , jumped up out of bed, put on my ugliest sweats, smiled again because he HATED those ones (they are about 18 times too big, I roll them at the top so they don't go up past my boobs) and went downstairs and made my Hazelnut coffee that he never allowed me to make in the coffee pot. (It made HIS coffee taste like ass.) Now, I get it. Single is GOOD. Unattached means I can do whatever the hell I want, and no one is going to bitch at me about why, when, where, who and how. 

Don't get me wrong,  the ex is an EXCELLENT father. He now takes his kids every weekend, sometimes even during the week for a night or two, he spends a LOT more time with them as a single dad than he did as part of a marriage. I don't have one complaint about the way he parents, disciplines, or any of the other stuff most people have problems with when it comes to kids. It's the husband part he wasn't all that good at. I'm not saying it's all his fault, for sure, I'm a crazy bitch, and extremely hard to deal with. But he KNEW that. I let him see the crazy waaaaaaay before we got married.

Anyway, back to co parenting. Being a "part time" mother is not an easy career change. When you go from having your children 27 hours a day, 9 days a week (all you mommies know exactly what I mean), to having *gasp* FREE weekends, at first, you don't know what to do with yourself. You feel immense guilt at having even an ounce of fun on your own, knowing your children are probably DYING without you. You spend lots of time in bed, fearing that you may be struck by lightening if you step into a bar, go to lunch with non mommy friends, or God forbid, go see a friend that DOES have children, and risk interacting with children that are not your own (BETRAYAL.). Trust me, this wears off. You finally venture out into the world, and it's so SHINY. Everything is new again, and it sparkles and catches your eye. You realize that you could find a HOBBY ( something other than avoiding legos in the middle of the night, poopy diapers, or vaccuuming.) You can sleep in past the ass crack of dawn, with NO FEET IN YOUR BACK. Hell, you can even taste your coffee, because you don't have to chug it to stay awake. There's always a little lingering guilt, but it's easily pushed to the back of your mind. 

There is another perk to all this. When you DO have your children, you appreciate everything so much more. When your daughter writes on the wall with your brand new lipstick (that you bought on a leisurely three hour shopping trip with no little hell monkeys hanging all over you asking you to buy the most expensive toy in the store), you don't flip shit. You smile, because she's just so CREATIVE. When your son  tells you he dumped his entire matchbox car collection in your bed, and he can't seem to find them all (surely you will, in the middle of the night, with fresh tiny tire tracks on your forehead), it's no biggie. The best part? When it's time to switch off to the ex....they CRY for you. They love you so much, and need you, and can't live without you. (I'll admit, sometimes this is very hard for me. I hate leaving my children unhappy, but DAMN do I feel like SuperMom when they want me.) 

Co parenting is bittersweet. You have to take the good with the bad. Those kids will be okay. Really. They are built like tanks.  So go. Enjoy your newfound ME time. RELISH IN THAT SHIT. You fucking earned it.