To my Ex

Wow, I don't know if this one is such a good idea.

Dear Ex,

I'm glad you're my ex. We get along better than we ever have,  probably because we rarely have to speak to each other. We were both unhappy, and hell bent on making each other unhappy. We fought all the time, we never spent time together, amd your presence made me angry. You tried to control every aspect of my life,  and I hated it. I don't miss you. Honestly,  besides the children,  I rarely even think of you.

Thanks for the babies, though.  That part is awesome.

To a Stranger

Oh....how relevent for the day, considering a STRANGER was attempting to harass me all morning. Here goes a rant.


To you of many fake names,

Just who the hell do you think you are? Just because we have ONE thing in common, and I have something that you want, doesn't mean that you can get up on your high horse and start bothering me. I didn't give you permission to enter my life, and I'm certainly not going to let you harass me. So knock it off with your fake Facebook accounts, and your friend requests, and your childish little games. I'm not letting you know me. You don't get to see my personal life, my dreams, or anything else. We will NEVER communicate, because according to every person I've talked to, you are not worth the trouble. All you do is destroy lives, wreaking havoc on marriages, relationships, and finances. I don't need someone like you in my life, and neither does anyone I know. So do me a favor, jump off a bridge and see if anyone follows.

I can't help it I'm awesome. Creepers need to recognize though, that awesome doesn't rub off, and she ain't gettin none from me (I totally channeled my inner redneck woman on that one.)



Short, sweet and to the point. Don't mess with me.

To my Dreams

Dearest dreams,

My goodness, how you have changed over the years. I can barely recognize you these days. We've grown together, through good and bad, adapting together, failing together, succeeding together. I guess you are honestly one of my oldest friends.

When I was little, you were in the form of an archeologist. That's what we were going to be when we grew up. We spent our days digging for dinosaur bones (maybe this is where the T Rex fascination comes from), and our nights dreaming of a prehistoric world. This slowly developed into a passion for Egyptology and Cryptology. We wanted to explore the pyramids, and battle evil curses together (no wonder I like Supernatural.)

Sometimes, when I was small, you scared me. You liked to hide monsters in my closet, and ghosts under my bed. You liked to play tricks on me while I slept. I didn't like you much at those points, I kind of wanted to kick your ass.

As we grew up, we changed. All we wanted was FREEDOM as teenagers. We wanted a car, and a license, and our own place to live, and college.  We schemed up ways to get away with doing things we knew we weren't supposed to do. We also hit a pretty rough patch when we were about 15, where you left me. I didn't dream for a long time, all I wanted to do was cry. I missed you dearly, but didn't know how to make you come back.  Finally, you did on your own, and we went on to cause trouble together for a few more years.


When we were 17, I got pregnant. You and I had to adapt quickly to this change. We went from school and fun and parties and boys, to babies and money and responsibility. We wanted a house, and love, and security. Being a young mother, I had simple dreams. I just wanted a roof over our heads, love in our hearts, and smiles on our faces. Oh and food in our bellies, which wasn't easy sometimes.

In our early 20's, we wanted love. We looked in all the wrong places, hurting ourselves countless times. We struggled and barely made it through, when I became pregnant again. Finally, you stopped whispering so loudly in my ear. Maybe it was time to just settle for what I could get, instead of what you wanted for me. So I got married, had two more children, and you went away for the most part. When you did come around, it was for my children. I wasn't happy, I missed you a LOT.  After years of nights without you, and unhappiness, you popped back into my life. I left my husband, I moved out, and started picking up the pieces with you by my side.

Here we are, over a year later, and we are still changing. We spent awhile not wanting anything much, just to live and enjoy life's little moments.  Then we met him. We were both in TOTAL agreement that this one wasn't like the others. He started being a star role in our night time escapades (get your mind out of the gutter, readers.) We started thinking big again. And we will continue to.

Without you, life just isn't the same. It's not sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and puppy kisses. I hope you never leave me again, but keep on changing, because it keeps life amazing! 

To my sisser (yes, that's how we spell it to each other)

To my big little sister,

You and I, we couldn't be more different. We are almost 10 years apart, polar opposites in the attitude department, and couldn't be picked out as sisters in any line up.  Your childhood consisted of me making fun of you, ignoring you, or making you believe the most ridiculous things possible (for example,  botulism, or the cloud makers). We fought bitterly, never did anything together,  and avoided each other.

Now you're 20 years old,  and not much of that has changed,  except for the fact that I consider you one of my best friends. I still pick on you (its how I show my affection), I still try to make you believe everything i say (because you make it so easy), but I couldn't live without you. All your eccentricities,  your pets, your huge soft heart make you the best little sister I could have asked for.

Plus, you're totally weird, and I dig that.

To my parents

This will involve two letters,  because my parents are divorced and i have extremely different opinions of them.

Dear momma,

You are my best friend. You have been there beside me through every trial and tribulation, cheering me on wholeheartedly the entire time.  You're the person I call 10 times a day, we can make even the weather interesting.  Without you, i would surely not be alive, in more than just the physical sense. I owe you my life. 

Thank you for letting me be myself, letting me learn from my own mistakes instead of pushing yours on me as an example.  Thank you for working your ass off as a single mom my entire life to give me what I needed. You are my inspiration. I love you more than anyone in the entire universe. ♥

Dad,

I don't know you that well. I know we have a lot of similar traits, both physically and attitude wise. There is no mistaking that I am your biological daughter.  Thats where the parental relationship ends.

You left when I was 4. All I wanted in the years after that was to have a dad who loved and cared about me. Instead, I got cards stuffed with money sent from Florida twice a year. Then, I became a teenager and you moved here. I had already learned to live without you though. I spent my older years hating you. Hating that you stole part of my childhood away, robbing memories that ill never be able to replace. 

Now, I'll be thirty this year. I don't hate you anymore.  You're a friend to me. You are the man that gave me life. I am thankful for that. You are good to your grandchildren,  maybe because you're trying to make up for everything you missed with me. I admire that about you. Simple facts are though, is that I may always have a father, but I'll never have a daddy.  And for once, I'm okay with that.

Day 2: To my "crush"

Now.....this one is a toughie. Do I write it to the man friend, or to Jeffrey Dean Morgan?  Decisions......



Dear man-friend, (come on now, JDM KNOWS I love him.)

Thank you. For what? Everything. For making me realize that there is something worth fighting for. For putting a perpetual smile on my face. For showing me that love is happy, and wonderful and emotional, and HARD, but so totally worth it.

Not long ago, I was a single mom, not even remotely interested in meeting someone, dating, or finding a serious relationship. Then you came along and changed my perspective on life. You made me realize that I deserve to be happy, and whole, you make me a better and more complete person. I've never had someone I can trust with everything, and be completely ridiculous with. I've never had anyone tell me that I am the most beautiful thing in the world when I wake up until you did. There were some other "firsts" that we will keep between us *wink wink* but you have opened my eyes to a whole new world of happy. I couldn't ever begin to repay you for that.

I'm gonna try though. By loving you as hard and long as I can. Which should be just about forever, according to my calculations. :)

I'm Taking a 30 Day Challenge-Day 1. To my Best Friend

Okay, so I've decided to get a little more active on my blog. It's feeling neglected. Problem is, I don't often have much inspiration, so I'm taking on a 30 day blogging challenge. That's right. 30 days, 30 posts. Y'all are gonna hate me by the end of this.  In this challenge, I am to write a letter to a different person every day. It starts with my best friend. This one may get a little emotional.

Dear BJ,

I fucking miss you. I miss your ocean blue eyes, I miss your blonde hair, and your smile, and your smell. I miss the way you would put your arm around my shoulders and pull me in for a hug. I miss the way you stole all my hair scrunchies for your collection (weirdo.) I miss getting phone calls at 3 am, asking me to sneak out of the house because you "borrowed" your dad's car again, and want to go for a joy ride.

It's been almost 14 years since you left. I was 15, you were only 16. In those 14 years, there hasn't been a day go by that I don't think about you, or wish I could pick up the phone to call you, or need one of your awesome hugs. I look at my children and wish that they would have had the pleasure of meeting you, and knowing how amazing you are. They remind me of you, with their blond hair, blue eyes, and attitude. It's like I got a tiny piece of you back, or a giant cosmic joke from you. I guess time will tell.  I have so much to tell you, so much has happened. Things just aren't the same without you here with me.

You are my best friend. You will ALWAYS be my best friend. That spot in my heart will never be filled by anyone. I love you, BJ, and I am blessed to have you watching over me (except when i'm in the shower, you perv.)

P.S. I want my scrunchies back.